Response to Erik Rhodes’ Death

It has come to my attention, and the gay community’s attention, that Erik Rhodes has died of a heart attack at the age of 30. No official cause of death has been released at this time but he did use drugs and bodybuilding steroids. He was a gay porn star. Many Christians today would not want me talking about a porn star, let alone a gay porn star. I open myself up to attack in order to be real and honest about life. Problems will never be solved unless there is open and honest communication. We live in a world today where many different things happen, whether we believe they are acceptable acts or not. God uses tragic incidents in the lives of people for good. Though we always do not see them at first, there is a reason for bad things in our lives.

I ask myself what can we learn from Erik’s death. We do know a lot from the blog he kept about what was going on in his life before he died. Being in the spotlight from his career, it was hard for him to find the help that he truly needed. Some people were there to help but only in return for sex. No one was really genuine and honestly cared. Let us be genuine and real in our relationships with other people. When we ask someone how they are doing honestly want to know how they are doing, not just say it as empty words because that is what everyone else says. Let us take the time to truly care for one another. To my gay brothers, we need to be better than that. We should never use anyone for the return we can get. If that is our goal and our motive, we should not be a part of that person’s life. As gay men, we are more than just penises and sex. Let’s act like it.

It also reminds me to continuously reach out to hurting people who need our help. One way that I reach out is through this blog. I hope all of you are enjoying it and being encouraged. Always know anyone can e-mail me at if they need to talk about anything that is going on in their life or anything at all. I hear the cry for help from the gay community, the cry of oppression, pain, hurt, and hopelessness. I strive to reach out and help the hurting people. Though starting off with just a blog is a start, hopefully it will grow into an organization and impact many lives in a positive way.

Recently I have been going through some rough times in my life. When we are down about our life or our circumstances, though we may not always want to or feel like it, seek out someone for comfort and encouragement. That is why as a gay man it is so important to have a support system. Life is rough but we can all get through it with each other’s help. Have some good friends that can be there to be open and honest with. Erik was crying out for help but he did not have a support system so eventually he collapsed.

My heart goes out to Erik and his family. He did not need to die. This all could have been avoided. In the end though it happened for a reason. Months for now the gay community will have moved on, remember nothing of Erik Rhodes. I hope that in his death we would be more aware to be on the lookout for hurting people and genuinely help them – no strings attached.


2 responses to “Response to Erik Rhodes’ Death

  • Rich

    It is so hard to know if people really what to know when they ask “How are you,” or if they are telling the truth when they say they are “fine.”

    • jmtromm

      I would agree with this. We just need to be ready if someone wants to be real with us about their life. If people know you are open to being open and honest, people will come to you. If someone says they are fine and really they are not, they just do not want to talk to you, for whatever reason. It is not something to take offense to but they just do not want to talk about it. That is okay. As long as a person makes a conscious effort to have people in their life to gain encouragement and comfort from, that is what matters. If you see a red flag that something is the matter with someone, be kind enough to ask if something is wrong. Even if it was nothing, we would rather be safe than sorry.

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