A New Approach

As I was reading in one of the many blog posts that I have read, one of it’s bloggers wondered if they had found “their voice” for their blog. Usually I write posts that have a lesson or purpose. That was “the voice” of my blog. Recently I decided I wanted to change that voice. Everything that is influencing my life should be “the voice” of my blog. I am just a gay Christian man going through life much like everyone else. What makes me different are my experiences. No one else in the world has experienced all the same things I have. Every person is special and unique because they all have had different experiences that have shaped their lives, for better or for worse. I would like to share those experiences with my readers so that something might be gained and learned about people, the human condition, sexuality, or any other topic that might come up. It all comes back to my “Living Real” post. I would like to be real and honest in my blog posts so that my readers would see life, possibly from a different perspective than they did before, and hopefully create a dialogue about it and/or be impacted to see something new that they had never seen before. There are always areas of our lives that we should not talk about publicly. I will not write my blog without a filter but I will be honest about the situations and events of my life.

In pondering “Living Real”, what if celebrities did this? Sure, they would have a filter too but if they were honest about their struggles and the current life that they live. I think that we would not view them as “way up there” compared to us. It would be a healthy/healthier view of other people. We all have the power to do great things, no matter what field it is in. It all comes down to our work ethic, dedication, passion, and organization to our goal/dream. It also depends on what God wants for us in our lives. In putting yourselves out there, especially celebrities, there will always be people who will judge and criticize and use what they know or what they think they know against others but that is just the price of  “living real”. I think more people would appreciate honest people who show that they are human just like everyone else. Much of the life of a celebrity has to do with reputation. All people care about their reputation – how other people perceive them. “If someone knew I was struggling with this, they would not like me. My reputation would be ruined!” This mindset just kills people as they try to show people that everything is wonderful in their lives when it is far from the truth. Living life fake has been tried by many people but look at where it has got us. Let us “live real”.

A couple mornings ago I was getting ready for work, making my lunch in the kitchen. My parents start hugging each other and kissing.  They did this on two different occasions in the kitchen that morning. One of my sisters (I am the oldest of five children) who will be a sophomore in high school has her boyfriend over on a regular basis, pretty much a daily basis. It frustrates me that my parents are against me having that with another man. What is so bad about two men being together? We love just the same as straight couples love. Being around both of these experiences makes me want someone who I can love and cherish. When it comes to looking for someone, I am kind of in limbo. Recently, I had a short relationship with another gay Christian but he broke it off because he does not know what he believes when it comes to his sexuality. I totally respect him for that. I feel like I should take a break for a while. At least until I am out of my parent’s house. I have decided to not go behind my parent’s wishes and respect their decisions for me while I am living under their roof. My previous relationship was behind their backs though I never did get caught. I just do not like all the stress and panic in sneaking around though I am still interested in some gay Christian friends that could turn into something more in the future. It is hard to find another guy that shares the same beliefs that I do when the majority of Christians are homophobic. There will always be a spark of hope in my heart that that guy is out there waiting for me to find him. If it were me, I would rather find him sooner than later.

The idea that gay men are all about lust and sex is a lie. We are just like straight couples. Do straight men get horny and turned on on a regular basis? It is no different with gay men. Relationships are not solely for sex. If that is what a gay man wanted, there are many different options of finding it. The purpose of any relationship, whether straight or gay, is to live life with another person, to share special moments with someone that you love and care about.  That is what I look for in another man. Sex comes into play when two people are committed to each other and the greatest way to show their love is through sex. Sex is the climax of two people in love. I do think about what it will be like my first time with my husband but that time will come after the right man comes along.

From the traditional interpretation of the Bible on homosexuality, same sex relationships are considered sin and wrong.

“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” – 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, NLT

This is just one of the verses used to condemn gay people. It is in a laundry list of other things as well that are said to condemn someone to Hell. If someone does not go to Heaven (Kingdom of God), in Christianity, they go to Hell. The whole basis of Christianity is love. God loved so He created. God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for the sins of humanity. God loves each and everyone of us today and wants a personal relationship with us. If the basis of Christianity is love, why is my love for another man wrong? Jesus himself says “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” – John 13:34. As Christians, we are called to love yet my love for another man is wrong. Logically it does not make sense.

Another thought that I have had is in the traditional view of homosexuality, gay relationships are condemned. I ask the question: Why? It seems clear to me why God cautions Christians to not be a part of the multitude of different things in the Bible but why gay relationships (essentially)? One reason I have come up with is because God is God and I am man. God created me and because of this He has the power to control me and tell me what I can and cannot do. But this is like a parent saying to their child “Do this because I said so.” Sure, there is a reason behind why the parent is telling the child to do something but the parent is not revealing why the child should do what the parent is asking. In my personal life, I would be more open to someone who backed up their claim with a reason why this is better for me to do than something else. Show me why this is going to hurt me. Caution me from the danger of not doing the right thing. I feel like I am a very real person with God in the fact that I just pray what is on my heart and do not leave anything out. Maybe one day God will be more real with me on this topic and I will have His reason but only time with tell and only God can reveal that to me. I do not believe that God condemns gay relationships so maybe I will never find His reason but this reason could change my whole life.



5 responses to “A New Approach

  • Rich

    One problem we all have with the Bible is we can not actually read it in the original. That is, we are not fluent in Aramaic. We know little of the culture and practices. Since homosexuality was not studied as a science until the 19th century, what exactly was meant in the Bible in the verses quoted? “Qadesh,” male prositute and “to’ebah,” condemned practice, are frequently mistranslated from the Hebrew versions, expecially in the widely used King James Bible. Source material is here: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibi.htm/ God loves us all and does not condemn us for whom we love.

  • Mike Martinez

    I have alwasy personally strove to be as genuine and authentic as I could possibly be. So much takes cares of itself when you do that. Great post. I don’t fault you at all for wanting to repsect your parents wishes while you are living under their roof. Kudos to you.

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