Gay Marriage vs. Gay Teens

In seeing all of the different articles and news on gay issues, it really got me thinking. There is two different issues in the gay community. One being the issue of marriage equality. The second the issue of gay teen suicide or just gay suicide in general. I think we need to reevaluate as the gay community and as straight allies where our money is going. We put all this money (millions of dollars) into fighting for marriage equality yet gay people still do not believe they have a place in this world. So much so that they take their lives because they see no hope in living as gay people in our world today. Putting millions of dollars into marriage equality is not all bad and I think we should be working on that front but I feel we focus a bit too much on it. Personally, I would rather see a gay youth who has been kicked out of his home have food and shelter than have my right to be married to my husband. I know I would be making a bigger difference. It is definitely complicated because I see the two sides intertwined as well. If gay marriage was legalized less gay people would kill themselves. I think that would help gay people but it does not prevent the bullying and harassment that gay people face. It has been very encouraging to see more and more support for gay marriage or people who do not support gay marriage yet are willing to still be loving, caring friends. When gay marriage is legalized, I feel it would only fuel the fire for the Church. They would be more radical in getting their message out in not supporting gay marriage. We need to support our gay brothers now before it gets worse. The issue of gay marriage could very well likely split our nation in two. There are strong voices on both sides.

Recently, $7 million was going to be cut from the New York budget that funded homeless gay youth. It has been restored but why are we short on funds to help our fellow gay brothers when we are putting all this money into an argument, a war, that is continuing to raise heat on the issue? As it has been said, we are only as strong as our weakest link. We continue to press on as the wounded lay on the ground. Their cries for help are in our ears yet we are so focused on the goal – to win the war on marriage equality. Gay marriage is a war. We should not be so focused on the goal that we do not see what else is around us.

If there is someone reading this who is struggling with their sexuality, feel free to e-mail me at I would be more than happy to encourage and help in any way that I can.



6 responses to “Gay Marriage vs. Gay Teens

  • sketchbookguy

    I always appreciate your perspective, and this really touches my heart. My prayer is that your voice will be a huge help to anyone who doesn’t see themselves as valued by God.

  • Rich

    Support for Gay Teens and hope for the future can be found at the Trevor Project. In addition to the suicide hotline, they are behind the “It gets better” media project.

  • andrewrojahn

    I think queer suicide is a bit more complicated than that. Personally, I don’t believe that they kill themselves because they don’t see their place in the world. I believe it’s because they do, and what they see is a skewed narrow version of the real world. And they don’t see the other side.

    Now, this debate is taking place, at least in small circles. My friends and I have discussed it, and I know those discussions have spread. But inevitably, it comes down to “what comes first” social acceptance, or laws. I would argue that either comes first, and the other will follow suit. This is the case when it comes to history (although typically, acceptance for both tends to increase simultaneously).

    People see it as easier to change a law than to change society, which is why marriage is (incorrectly, in my opinion) the front runner of queer issues.

    • jmtromm

      Thank you for your different perspective on gay suicide. It will give me some more to think about.

      First of all, society votes on gay marriage, whether for or against. I do not feel money put into all these campaigns is going to change people’s minds. It is when someone that a person loves and cares about is effected, the situation changes. That is why I feel it is so important for me to speak out for this topic in my own life. When society realizes that this topic does effect them and the people they care about, they will be more willing and open to look at the topic with a different perspective than they did before.

  • Alex Diaz

    both of these issues come down to identity, no? people have an issue with “gay” because people don’t know what gay is – let alone a normal human quality.

    i think the answer lies in convincing people that i am a human. gay is a small sliver of what i am not who i am. the change starts with us (apologies for cliche) but it really does.

    i know its not as simple as i just put it; however, i dont think pouring money into a social problem is the way to go about fixing gay.

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