I was reminded recently of how important it is to have a support system to go to when problems arise. A group, however big or small depending on the person, of people that a person can be real with and share their deep problems and struggles; the biggest one being issues related to the person’s sexuality. Yesterday I was having a hard day at work and I have also been dealing with some gay issues. I asked myself “Who could I go to and talk to them about what I am going through?’ My good straight friend is currently on an out of the country missions trip. Another gay friend has just gotten really busy as we have gone different directions with our lives. With what I am going through, I wanted to talk to a gay guy since they could better relate. I came to the realization that there was no one I could really talk to about what I was dealing with. At that point, I just prayed to God that things would get better and had a good rest of my time at work. Maybe God is teaching me to learn that He is all I need. Sometimes though I just need to talk with another person.
Though there are different phases of our lives that we all go through, never give up on finding good people to add to your support system. One thing I also learned is to know for sure if someone to trustworthy enough to be a part of your support system. I recently meet this guy online and just wanted to pour out my heart and soul to him as there really is not anyone else in my life to do that. The more I though about it, the more I stopped and took a step back. I do not know who this guy is yet so it is not the best for me to be real with him about everything little thing right off the bat. With time and getting to know him better, hopefully I can know that he is trustworthy enough to bring into my support system. Overall, I can be too much of a trusting person. Finding balance in that area of my life would be beneficial for me.
Sort of a side bar that connects to this topic: It is hard to find and have gay friends. Either a guy wants to date or not be a part of your life at all. If any of my readers just need someone to talk to that does not have any interest in dating them but just to talk and heal in that way, feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For those readers who have not come out to anyone yet and are hiding the secret that they are gay inside, do not feel like this is only your battle. You do not need to be alone in this. In that phase of life, this is where support is most needed. I did not truly find healing about my sexuality until a reached out to a gay guy that was in my choir class in college. We have been good friends since. It was truly what I needed to accept myself and move on with my life. If I had not reached out, with the gradual downward spiral I was on, I would have killed myself because the pain was just that great. There are people in the world looking for gay men struggling with their sexuality and reaching out to them but we cannot catch everyone. Though it may be scary and hard to take that step and reach out to someone else, it will make a world of difference. Whether in real life or online, reach out to someone for the help and encouragement that is needed. It is not easy to say to someone else “I need help!” As people, we want to be viewed as independent and strong. It never makes a person look weak when they ask for help. They are just using their resources wisely and doing the best they can with what they are given. Be willing to humble yourself and ask for help.