As any gay man, I read articles from gay magazines online. Occasionally, I will glance at the comments to see what others think about a certain topic. Usually I find many comments full of name calling from the gay community in opposition to someone who disagrees with them. This truly saddens me. Though we may not agree on sexual orientation and how that plays out within people’s lives, the least we can do is respect them as a person. We are all trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities. When we are disrespectful to people who do not share the same views, we are giving them a reason to not support us. No matter what other people do, may we never stoop down to name calling. I see the word “bigot” even being used so much that it is becoming just another word the gay community uses to name call.

There are many double standards within the gay community. Hopefully over time these will go away. Let us not be people who do not respect those who do not support us when it comes to our sexual orientation. Everyone has to wrestle with the topic of people being gay. For some it is easier than others but we should not judge people who are still on their journey to accepting gay people. Realistically, some people will never accept gay people but that should not discourage us. We need to be a positive example to those who are still wrestling with the topic and/or do not know of anyone personally who is gay. Let the world see that we are good moral citizens just like anyone else but name calling is not going to get us there or anywhere close. It will only close doors.

I encourage us all to be gay men who strive to be the best people we can be. To show respect to those who do not respect us. To be the better man at the end of the day. Though it is tough, those trials will build in us character that we can use for the rest of our lives.

Have a great rest of your week!



7 responses to “Respect

  • Alex Diaz

    I must not be a gay man as I have not read gay articles from a gay magazine.


  • jukk888

    As a gay person, I can respect people with different opinions from mine, but I cannot respect a person who believes I shouldn’t have the same rights straight people have. Furthermore, I do not respect anyone who believes that women, foreigners, people of different races, trans people, Intersex people, far people or people who wear glasses should not have the same rights as a straight man. I consider intolerant people as bigots, who don’t deserve my respect. I’m sorry if that makes me a worse person.

    • jmtromm

      No one will ever be right on every topic of debate so why should we judge them for their position when we personally see something differently? I agree that everyone should be able to have the same rights and freedoms.

      This is something that I am wrestling with as well. I think there is a difference between respecting someone and agreeing with them. In planning my future business, I would like my suppliers to support gay marriage just as my company will be for gay marriage. To the companies that do not support gay marriage, I respect their views because they have a right to have them just as we our views. I will, however, not use them as a supplier because that would hinder my company in helping hurting gay men. I would be enabling a company to hurt fellow gay men through money that I gave them and I do not agree with that.

      I think we should stand up for what we believe and there can be healthy debates/discussion among people. We should watch though when it gets too out of hand and things like name calling happen.

  • gayproject

    I agree in part with what you write. There are certainly homophobic people who deserve the utmost respect, because they are themselves victims of a wrong education and a lot of prejudices that were communicated to them by the family and the social environment. These people can really be in a state of considerable confusion and can actually be searching for the truth about the gay world. It is clear that these people deserve the utmost respect, but to the extent that their efforts to understand, however difficult, are genuine.
    But there are also people who do not want to understand (not people who would like to understand but cannot) and do not want because homophobia is useful for them and usable at the political level or at work or in order to find a group of followers. These people are not ignorant people as a result of preconceptions absorbed through education but are people who exploit homophobia as an instrument of power. With these people any form of dialogue is impossible because they do not want a dialogue that would cost them in terms of practical usefulness. Of course I would refrain from offending these people but not by speaking out to highlight the instrumental purpose, and add immoral purpose, of their homophobic choices.

    • jmtromm

      They have hardened their hearts towards gay people and the gay community.

      i think it is so important that as gay men we are willing to be open about our sexuality and what we go through on a daily basis. I do not promote outing and ever gay man’s journey is different. Ultimately, it will not be legislation that changes people’s minds. Legislation only forces people to do one thing or the other. Equality will come when gay men are honest with the world about who they are and reach out to the people around them. It’s sad but true in the fact that there are still racist people in the year 2012. Legislation was passed for equal rights many years ago and some people still wrestle with it. As people, we need to show others that we are not just our stereotypes but way beyond them.

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