Since Brendon and I usual hang out only once a week, he offered to take me home after work on Monday. He goes to a Bible Study near work so it would not be a problem for him. On Sunday, he was wrestling with his Sarah vs. me situation. I was planning on talking to him about her and seeing what I could do to help.

When work ended, I looked all over the parking lot. He was not there so I texted him. I got a response back that he would be there in eight minutes. It was a bit chilly out. I had my coat in my hand but I did not put it on. I did not want to wait inside for him. By this time, everyone else had left so I just stood there in the middle of the parking lot waiting for him.

He arrives right when he said he would.   I realize when he pulls in that he has someone with him. He parked the car and both Brendon and this other person get out of the car. Brendon introduces me and this other person. It turns out to be Sarah, the girl he is in a relationship with. Brendon had parked right next to her car so she would not have to walk. They exchanged words and a hug all the while I was shocked and did not know what to do. This was the Sarah he had been talking about all this time. I did not really see what she looked like because she always had her back turned to me. I began to judge her as a person. I was jealous of their hug and how cute he was acting towards her. She gets in her car and Brendon  invites me into his and when we get in he starts asking me what I thought. I still do not know at that point. I had a completely different picture in my mind of what would happen than what actually happened. Brendon did not warn me about any of this.

We did not have the best drive to my house. It is only a minute or two from work. I was still shocked. When we had hung out and made dinner on Saturday, he had told me to not be discouraged when it came to us but then I was hurt by what he was doing with Sarah. I felt cheated on.

I texted him and asked if I could call him when he got home. He lives a half hour from my house so it gave me time to think things through. We talked and I told him how I felt. I brought up the point that I wondered if he would be faithful to me after what I have seen him do with Sarah. He told me not to worry about it. His love for me is different than it was for Sarah.

He told me that Sarah and Sarah’s mom had called him conceited and all about himself. He did not know why and called Sarah selfish as well. They just were not working out. I forgave him for all of that and we ended our phone call.



2 responses to “Surprise!

  • Matthew Ciszek


    I understand that you have feelings for Brendon, but what he did to you was inexcusable and frankly pretty crappy. I don’t know him from Adam, but based on reading many of your posts, I think he’s trying to “have it all” by playing off of the emotions of both you and Sarah.

    My advice: End things with him as soon as possible. You’ll feel better about yourself and you can move on and find someone who will truly give themselves over to you, in heart and mind, as well as body. I say this as a gay man who has been there before. You’re worth more than this.


  • gayproject

    “His love for me is different than it was for Sarah”. Yes, it’s possible, why not? Nevertheless “different love” means “love” perhaps loving another way but somehow loving. They are probably friends but being friends is something that matters a lot. A gay guy and a girl who are friends and also best friends are linked by something hard to understand but real. If she is not in love with him it can also be a real longlasting friendship. it could be, yes, but you must have evidence. He told you “my love for you is different than it was for Sarah” and it is not a small thing, but you have to be very careful, because there is still a third person which is important for him, even if “another way”.

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