Decisions and Reflections


I decided that it was not the right time for Brendon and I to move in together. Sure, it would be wonderful but I am not financially stable enough to do that. With still paying off college loans, I would pay less still living with my parents. I told Brendon that I would have them payed out in a year and we will discuss it more when the time comes. One thing that we were both concerned about was if we were going too fast. Moving in would be too fast for both of us. Ā  December is the third month that we have been able to hang out since we have meet each other. The year will help us to further get to know each other before we take a big step together.

Brendon also asked me if I would want to go with him to Chicago to meet his best friend Seth in March. I am excited and nervous but more needs to be done with that before anything is official.

I love Brendon. Though he is not the hottest guy in the world, he is my man and that is what matters. I love him for who he is. I wish that he did not have to deal with all the drama that he deals with with his family and moving currently. Having the debt that he has stresses him out and it is hard to watch sometimes. I hope that one day neither of us will be worrying about money and paying bills. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I am loved unconditionally by Brendon. I do not feel I deserve it. Though I am not perfect, I am still loved.

Originally Brendon and I were not going to see each other this week because we were both working seven days a week. Not because we wanted to but because we were forced to. Some events occurred and it looks good that I will have tomorrow off. If I do, Brendon and I are going to hang out. We hung out after I got off of work Thursday and it was a good time. We cuddled in the back of his car and talked. I am doing better with those times. Usually I am so tired and drained that I just want to be mellow while Brendon gets all hyped up and laughable.

Brendon and I are doing well together and I am glad for that. We are going strong. He asked me about Christmas and what I wanted. I told him I did not really need anything but if he wanted to get something to go ahead. Personally, I do not feel obligated to get him something because I got him a set of pans and a heart shaped cutting board recently. I would be happy with just having each other for Christmas. I do have a plan that I am getting him something when we are officially boyfriends to start that part of our lives. He knows that I have something up my sleeve but does not know what yet.

God Bless,


(Photo Courtesy of Welcome to the New Age via Tumblr)


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