Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Next Phase Of Our Relationship

Colby & Brandon

In spending time together yesterday, Brendon brought up the next phase of our relationship. With much stress in his life now, he has decided to move back home to become more financially stable. His current move has only put him deeper in debt and stressed him out more than ever. I can see and understand the decision. More than anything; I support him as I know it is hard to do but it will be best for our future. He sees it as an opportunity to help out his family and himself at the same time. His mom could use the help and he wants to be there for Ethan as he continues his journey with AIDS. When it comes to time together, it will force us to go out and do something: go to the park, out to eat, or to the movies. Mostly we have just lounged around on the weekends because we are both tired from the stressful work week.  I think it will help us deepen and strengthen our relationship even more. There is also the option of going back to his parents house to watch a movie and cuddle.

It can be difficult going over to his parent’s house because of his step-dad Tony. None of Brendon’s friends and family really care for Tony and I do not really either but I make the best of it. I remind myself that I need to love him as I would anyone else though he can be a challenge to get along with. In time it is also a possibility that he could hang out at my parent’s house.

Since Brendon’s family was not really planning anything for Easter, my mom invited him over to share a meal with us and hang out. My mom has meet him in passing but this is the first time my family will meet him. My mom’s parents will also be joining us for Easter. They have no clue I am gay. Both Brendon and I are nervous about it but it should be easier than dinner with his family. Though each of our families have their little quirks, we can always work with the one that is easier to deal with. I am interested to see how my brother reacts to us as he is anti-gay marriage and anti-gay in general. It sounds like a recipe for disaster but I am hoping for the best. Hopefully everyone will have control and posse to not make this family dinner more awkward than it needs to be.

God Bless,

Josh

(Colby J. Melvin & Brandon Brown Photo Courtesy of Facebook)

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Update

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Brendon and I have now been together 3 months and “married” for a month. It has been an adventure. Not so good this past Saturday as we headed to a production of Guys and Dolls that my high school had put on but even more amazing than I had thought on Sunday. A roller coaster of emotions on the track of life and relationship. More than anything, I am glad he is there and that I am there to be able to be there for him. 

I decided that I am not going to audition for the summer theatre shows in my community. A local theatre company will be doing The Rocky Horror Show in October. Just an ensemble part in the show would be enough for me. They are also doing The Importance Of Being Earnest in May so I hopefully will audition for that as well. 

Currently there has been restlessness between Brendon and one of his neighbors. To put simply: there are too loud. Loud TV, loud yelling – both the mother and the daughter, even being able to hear his neighbor pee through the wall. He is thinking about moving again to another place in our town that would be cheaper and better for him. There is many problems with where he lives now in his own place and with the neighbors. He wants to talk to the landlord about soundproofing the walls between them but with the lack of action that the landlord has taken thus far I doubt he will want to do anything about it. Brendon’s medicine cabinet and back door knob are still broken from when he moved in even after he called the landlord. The driveway is yet another nightmare that needs to be changed and worked on. Brendon was also thinking about getting a roommate as he says he is lonely but i think he is too fed up with the neighbors that moving seems to be the better option. 

I am looking forward to living together with Brendon. It will be different than anything I have known before. The reason why we have not already is I would like to get all my debt payed off before I move in. Free my money up to live and not have to balance a college payment with everything else. Brendon is willing to work with me but I would rather be able to pay my fair share for everything. We will see what happens with that. 

Things are looking up! Hope is always here!

-Josh

(Colby J. Melvin & Brandon Brown Photo Courtesy of Facebook)


Jumping Back Into Theatre

Theatre

In trying to find my next step, I will be getting into local theatre. I have currently been a part of six different productions throughout my high school and college career. There is a theatre organization that will be putting on two different shows this summer that I hope to be a part of. Many pieces will have to fall into place though. Currently working second shift at my job creates a problem when it comes to attending rehearsals. My supervisor did say that they would be willing to talk about a shift change if something did come up. If everything did work out, it would be beneficial in more ways than one. I would be able to do something that I enjoy and be able to attend rehearsals but it would also allow me to work the same hours as Brendon. As always when doing a show there is pretty much no free time but it would allow me to see Brendon more than I currently would working different shifts. I have got in contact as well with my previous vocal coach and she is open to working with me again. She is definitely an inspiration; a wonder to work with.

As I looked out on my college life being a Elementary Education and Theatre Performance double major I found myself to be unhappy in more ways than I wanted to be. The biggest part was I did not want to spend so much time on a show that I simply did not care about though my major required me to be. It was also a hard balancing act when it came to acting class, shows, and other classes not at all dealing with theatre. College was an emotional and metaphorical suicide. I feel like I can give more now that I do not have as many different areas of my life starving to get my attention.

Before I dropped out of college for financial reasons, I had a wonderful semester in Beginning Acting. I felt that I was actually getting somewhere. To define me as a great actor would be untrue but I am working on it and would like to become better. The biggest hurdle that theatre wanted me to overcome was to accept my sexuality. Theatre requires transparency and vulnerability from its actors. I could not be vulnerable in a role until I became vulnerable in my own life. I see this time as different. Theatre helped me to deal and grow through the situations I had and now I want to further embrace them so that others can be inspired to make a difference in their own life and/or in others lives.

Plunging myself into theatre will gain me the confidence that I desperately need. I find myself unhappy and ashamed with where I am in life and yet wondering where to go and what path I should take for the future. I want to help people and make a difference. This is one way to do that. Making candles in a factory is not something I want to be doing for the rest of life. As I look around, I see the trouble the economy is having and the lack of jobs.  Realistically there just is not much out there. I know I have much potential waiting to bloom and thrive. The problem comes with what environment, what career, would best cultivate it. I feel that I have been given too many gifts and talents to honor them all. Where do I fit in? I could do pretty much anything. What is a career that combines my gifts and talents but yet also satisfy me? I am on a journey to find it and I have theatre by my side to help me out.

Please wish me the best as I embark on this new chapter of my life.

God Bless,

Josh