In spending time together yesterday, Brendon brought up the next phase of our relationship. With much stress in his life now, he has decided to move back home to become more financially stable. His current move has only put him deeper in debt and stressed him out more than ever. I can see and understand the decision. More than anything; I support him as I know it is hard to do but it will be best for our future. He sees it as an opportunity to help out his family and himself at the same time. His mom could use the help and he wants to be there for Ethan as he continues his journey with AIDS. When it comes to time together, it will force us to go out and do something: go to the park, out to eat, or to the movies. Mostly we have just lounged around on the weekends because we are both tired from the stressful work week. I think it will help us deepen and strengthen our relationship even more. There is also the option of going back to his parents house to watch a movie and cuddle.
It can be difficult going over to his parent’s house because of his step-dad Tony. None of Brendon’s friends and family really care for Tony and I do not really either but I make the best of it. I remind myself that I need to love him as I would anyone else though he can be a challenge to get along with. In time it is also a possibility that he could hang out at my parent’s house.
Since Brendon’s family was not really planning anything for Easter, my mom invited him over to share a meal with us and hang out. My mom has meet him in passing but this is the first time my family will meet him. My mom’s parents will also be joining us for Easter. They have no clue I am gay. Both Brendon and I are nervous about it but it should be easier than dinner with his family. Though each of our families have their little quirks, we can always work with the one that is easier to deal with. I am interested to see how my brother reacts to us as he is anti-gay marriage and anti-gay in general. It sounds like a recipe for disaster but I am hoping for the best. Hopefully everyone will have control and posse to not make this family dinner more awkward than it needs to be.
(Colby J. Melvin & Brandon Brown Photo Courtesy of Facebook)
Brendon and I had the opportunity to spend the weekend together. We even had time to hang out with his brother Ethan and boyfriend Keith again and started packing things away to move. Last week Brendon was able to get a house in the town that I live in. He will not have to drive 30 minutes to see me or go to work. There are many benefits to the move. When he finishes paying the rest of the security deposit, he will be given the keys to move in. With the move, we will be able to hang out more. Usually if we do go out during the week, we go out to eat and just talk and hang out in his car after they close. Now we will be able to have a place to stay together.
We both realize that we are going fast in our relationship but that just is the pace we are going. I brought up marriage again since we both want to be intimate with one another. We believe we should be married before we have sex. As we thought about it, we could not find a concrete way to do things. In researching laws in Ohio, civil unions and same sex marriage are banned in the state. Only certain cities allow domestic partnerships and that is it. I think we also came to the conclusion that we do not want our families there though I feel obligated to stand up for LGBT people by having a wedding with my family there. Then again it is my day and I would not want it to be ruined though there may be hard feelings. There may be a vote on same sex marriages in Ohio this year but can we honestly wait that long? Will it even pass?
We could always just get wedding bands and just say we are married though we are not legally. I do not know what to do or what the right decision for us is yet. Our lives hold us back from getting married. With my college loan debt that I need to pay off and being accepted by the landlord to be allowed to live in Brendon’s apartment, life is telling us to wait yet we are ready for the next step.
I also wonder how to be pure sexually in all of this. We are ready to love each other on the deepest level possible. We are ready to commit our whole lives to each other. I do not have any other knowledge than the experiences that I live but when it is two guys we are both just revving to go sexually. I know most people will say it is fine to have sex with Brendon before marriage but I want to do what is right and I would like to have favor on our relationship together.
It makes me sad to see what LGBT people have to go through in the state of Ohio. I honestly feel trapped and that I do not really have any options. What have others done in the past to overcome this obstacle? I do not blame gay people for having random sex when they honestly cannot be married or have to settle for something less than what they want. There is also moving to a state that would legally allow us to marry as an option.
Right now we are just living day by day. I am going into work to pay off my college loans and be one step closer into being Brendon’s husband. If there is any advice to be given, I would appreciate it. I want to do what is best for Brendon and what is best for us.
Photo Courtesy of Be Yourself (Strawberries Are Blue) via Tumblr