In trying to find my next step, I will be getting into local theatre. I have currently been a part of six different productions throughout my high school and college career. There is a theatre organization that will be putting on two different shows this summer that I hope to be a part of. Many pieces will have to fall into place though. Currently working second shift at my job creates a problem when it comes to attending rehearsals. My supervisor did say that they would be willing to talk about a shift change if something did come up. If everything did work out, it would be beneficial in more ways than one. I would be able to do something that I enjoy and be able to attend rehearsals but it would also allow me to work the same hours as Brendon. As always when doing a show there is pretty much no free time but it would allow me to see Brendon more than I currently would working different shifts. I have got in contact as well with my previous vocal coach and she is open to working with me again. She is definitely an inspiration; a wonder to work with.
As I looked out on my college life being a Elementary Education and Theatre Performance double major I found myself to be unhappy in more ways than I wanted to be. The biggest part was I did not want to spend so much time on a show that I simply did not care about though my major required me to be. It was also a hard balancing act when it came to acting class, shows, and other classes not at all dealing with theatre. College was an emotional and metaphorical suicide. I feel like I can give more now that I do not have as many different areas of my life starving to get my attention.
Before I dropped out of college for financial reasons, I had a wonderful semester in Beginning Acting. I felt that I was actually getting somewhere. To define me as a great actor would be untrue but I am working on it and would like to become better. The biggest hurdle that theatre wanted me to overcome was to accept my sexuality. Theatre requires transparency and vulnerability from its actors. I could not be vulnerable in a role until I became vulnerable in my own life. I see this time as different. Theatre helped me to deal and grow through the situations I had and now I want to further embrace them so that others can be inspired to make a difference in their own life and/or in others lives.
Plunging myself into theatre will gain me the confidence that I desperately need. I find myself unhappy and ashamed with where I am in life and yet wondering where to go and what path I should take for the future. I want to help people and make a difference. This is one way to do that. Making candles in a factory is not something I want to be doing for the rest of life. As I look around, I see the trouble the economy is having and the lack of jobs. Realistically there just is not much out there. I know I have much potential waiting to bloom and thrive. The problem comes with what environment, what career, would best cultivate it. I feel that I have been given too many gifts and talents to honor them all. Where do I fit in? I could do pretty much anything. What is a career that combines my gifts and talents but yet also satisfy me? I am on a journey to find it and I have theatre by my side to help me out.
Please wish me the best as I embark on this new chapter of my life.
I saw a video of Dan Savage promoting his new television show, American Savage, on Facebook. His message is for the Christian Left to be bolder and let the Christian Right know that there are people who are Christians and support gay rights. I would like the opportunity to have my own take on this.
There are posts on WordPress that do oppose gay people and gay rights and I would like to start writing posts addressing those. I do not write these posts to get at the original writers but to show both sides when it comes to the topic of gay people and subtopics under that. From my perspective, I think some people are anti-gay because they have been fed lies about gay people and have had scare tactics set on them so that they will be afraid of gay people and not accept them. I would like to shine light on these false truths as a gay Christian man doing his best to live his life to the fullest and honor God. Hopefully others will be touched by these posts.
For those that are searching for answers and want to understand how or what to do when it comes to such a hot button topic, I want to provide a solution. Maybe it will not be the answers that they need but I feel led to share my side of the story. I want to show people how gay men see it and get rid of the lies that hinder people for being unified. If someone believes that gay is wrong and bases it on their faith or religion, I respect that. I would just hate to see people basing their beliefs on false truths.
All of these new posts will be under the “Deeper Discussion” category on my blog as well. I will still be writing about my life and Brendon but thought I would branch out more and take the opportunity to make a bigger difference. This is only one blog out of many and I am only one person but hopefully I can make a positive impact. I thank all of the readers for commenting and liking my posts. It is truly a privilege to share my life and my story as it happens. Thank you for listening and for this opportunity to share my thoughts, convictions, and passions.
Brendon and I were able to hang out for a while after I got off work on Monday. Ever since he has brought up wanting to move closer to his jobs, I have wondered if it would be a good idea for us to be roommates. He was going to move to a place right by my parent’s house with his sister but his sister was denied because they could not get in contact with her references. Brendon did not really want to live with his sister any way. His lease is up at the end of the year for the place that he is living at now. He is thinking of signing a three month lease so we could figure out if we would want to move in together once three months is up. Brendon is not letting his roommate (Ryan) sign the lease because Brendon has had problems with him not paying his part of the rent and has stolen things of Brendon’s before though he is never really there at the apartment. Personally, I do not want Brendon to be living alone because that means him working more. He already works a ton and has a large amount of debt so I do not want more stress on him to do that. Where he currently lives, it is a half hour drive to work and to see me. Saving on gas alone would be a big help.
I was talking about it to one of my coworkers yesterday and ultimately she told me to go for it. Sometimes we just have to take risks in our lives. I would definitely have boundaries if we live together. We would not be having sex and we would have an understanding of using the bathroom and showering. I think it could honestly be something that we both could be happy with.
In talking with him, I brought up again in a different way that I am not always attracted to him when I see him and how torn up I get about that. I do not have control over who I am attracted to. I just do not want to hurt him because I know he loves me more than I love him. He comforted me and said to not stress; just take it one day at a time. Every time we hang out I see us as good friend but then he looks at me with love in his eyes and I melt with love back. The last two times we have hung out, we have held hands. I was the one who first started it because I just wanted to do that. It feels good to have someone there for you. I just hope none of this goes wrong. If I had my way, I wish I was more attracted to him so there was not that potential that I would break his heart. Us has always been complicated. We are in between friends and being in a relationship. There should be a word, a label, for that. We introduce each other as friends though there is something deeper under the surface.
I am still waiting to hear back from my mom on where my parents stand on me having a boyfriend/getting married. When they find out that I might be moving in with Brendon, I do not think they will like the idea but at the same time they do not know me, the son that they have raised. They do not know the morality that I have alongside my sexuality. I am not the typical gay guy. I know that statistically people do not stay together that live together. Having boundaries will help us not fall into the trap that happens to other relationships. They have everything that they would have in married life yet they are not married so they see no reason to be married. It is just another complicated situation that has no word, no label, for it.
I am still thinking about all of this and hopefully I will pick the best decision for me.
-Josh
(Photo Courtesy of Welcome to the New Age via Tumblr)
I just need a place to be honest about what I am feeling right now. Everyday I hurt because I cannot love who I was made to love. I am forced to deny myself by my parents and daily they reinforce the pain they are inflicting. They are oblivious to the pain they cause me because they are unwilling to accept that I indeed am gay. I do not fit into their worldview so they try to fit me into a box that I just do not fit or deny all of it. I will never deny that I have attractions to other men. God calls me to live a life of truth. Do you want me to lie my whole life and sin that way or commit the sin of homosexuality? This is why I distance myself from my parents. When religion and Christianity hinders a person from seeing another’s hurt and pain and to logically reason, it has gone too far. I honestly do not care if my parents accept my choices in life but I want them to accept me as a gay man. From them to see that, yes, I do have attractions to other men. All of this pain and hurt is real. So much so that I have a heart condition that doctors cannot tell me why it is happening. I give it to the stress of work and my sexuality struggle through life. Do my parents not see that they are killing me literally because of what they do? Do you want to have me as your son or not? I would not be surprised one day I just had a heart attack at work and past out on the floor. I am dying inside as I try to live my life. I long for love from another man. I am starving for it. Just a hug from another gay man.
I cannot go on to live a life in which Christians make gay people into aliens. I am still appalled that my dad would compare my relationship with my dog to his relationship with his wife. They are two completely different things. The Church wants us to not be human. Sexuality is a part of humanity as is loving another person. According to the Church we are forced to be aliens, sub human to the rest of the world, living alone and just going through life never experiencing love in a relationship or loving someone so much that a person would give their whole body to them. I will not be treated less than by anyone. This was not the way it was intended nor the way it should be. Some churches even ban gay people because they are gay. Gay people are sick and we do not want any part of it. I did not choose my sexuality so why are you trying to hurt me because of it?
I wish people would be able to see me, all of me, for who I am. Yes, I am a Christian. Many Christians will say Jesus is the answer. I have found Him and have a personal relationship with Him. What I struggle with is the oppression of a group of people because they are different. That I am seen as less than because of who I was created to be. God loves and sees everyone equally. Why do not Christians and people today? Stop fearing gay people. We do not want to hurt anyone. We just want to be treated like everyone else.
I just want to be able to be happy and be able to have that right. To be treated like everyone else. To be able to have a relationship that I am able to enjoy, to love and be loved in return. Being gay is not all about the sex. Being gay is about loving someone with all your heart and no matter what or how people may treat you for who you are you love them unconditionally.
I hope that people would see me as the gay man that I am. I am open and honest about my life because I want people to take their blinders off and see that maybe they do not know everything there is about sexuality. Sexuality is a complex topic and no one has it all figured out. I do not know everything but do not be a person that thinks they know everything and then pushes their views on everyone else. It is not doing one bit of good. It is only causing great tension.
In living out my daily life this week, I realized I was a hypocrite. I struggle with finding another man and being single. In my head I know that I need to be single. There are many things that God is showing me that I need to change and grow within myself, so much so that at times it can feel overwhelming. My heart yearns for the companionship of another man; to love someone and be loved in return. There are many times when I feel like a dying monkey starving for love. I had heard somewhere that if a baby monkey is separated from it’s mother after it is born, it will die in five days because of a lack of touch and interaction. There is not an outlet for physical touch in my life right now. I do have a good friend online that I can talk with and hopefully a gay friend at work.
It is in my best interest to stay single right now though my need to feel loved is great. I never want others to see me as a hypocrite when it comes to this topic. It is a struggle within me that comes out at times. The only way I will ever get that need is to move out. That whole process scares me. I know I need to make a plan and it needs to happen but I do not feel like I have what it takes. Sure, my parents tried their best to raise me but they raised me by controlling me and not allowing me to fail on my own. They did not parent with the end goal in mind of being a successful individual on my own. Now the stakes are higher and failing has a higher cost to pay.
Right now I would like to get rid of all of the college debt I have. It is frustrating as I am currently training to be a lead for one of the machines where I work. I honestly do not know if I want the position. The company is greatly falling apart and there is corruption all through it. I do not want to be hired in only to leave soon after that. I honestly don’t know if it is worth a couple cents more an hour and possibly a couple hundred dollars in bonuses if the company stays on budget. The only reason I am there is to raise money to live my life: pay off college loans, fund my business, money for a car and a place to live. I do not see myself there in five years. I have goals and dreams; a heart full of passion. Slaving away and stressing out to make candles is nothing compared to helping the gay community that desperately cries out for help.
I know that when I get through this stage of my life, I will be grateful for what I did and the courage that I mustered up to do it. It is worth it. I just need to be strong though I know not of all that will happen in the future. Hard times builds character and character is what will be built in me.
-Josh
(Photo courtesy of Welcome to the New Age via Tumblr)
Like any gay man, I struggled with my sexuality in middle school and high school. I did not really have anyone to talk to. It was just me dealing with this huge stress in my life. Since there was no one else I felt I could go to, I would go to God. I would cry out to God tears streaming down my face, telling Him how I felt and hurt. He was always there for me. There was a reason God wanted to to go through that, what I would call, terrible time in my life. Having gone through it now, I am a stronger man and my relationship with God is stronger as well. God has a purpose and calling for my life. He wants me to cry out to Him when I am in need. He wants to bless me as a father his child.
Many gay men do not have good relationships with their fathers. Mine is no different. The wonderful thing though is what my dad lacks to provide me, God greatly provides everything I need. No matter how bad my dad has screwed up, I know I have a loving father figure in God who will never leave me and always love me unconditionally. I do not need to pretend to be someone else to be accepted. I come to God will all my baggage and give it to Him. We do not need to be perfect to come to God and for Him to love us.
To all gay men that read this and our struggling in one way or another with their sexuality, I would like to say “I love you buddy. We’re going to make it.” There is hope for a better future. There is always hope in God. I hope and pray that my readers would be able to see how much God loves them.
This video always makes me cry every time I watch it because I have lived it. I hope that this video encourages and reveals more of who God is.
It has me wondering, when it comes to gay men, that they want their marriage to be legalized and to be seen as equal to straight couples. Why do some gay men think that it is okay to post pictures of two men having sex over public websites when straight people are not allowed to do that? If we were being completely fair, if one is banned so is the other. We are not being treated any differently because of our sexual orientation. That is just the rules. Posting images of that nature also fuels the stereotype that comes with gay people: that being gay is all about sex. It is not. If a person is truly for marriage equality, they would not post such images because it only sets us back farther from reaching our goal every time someone posts them.
To support marriage equality 100% is to ban gay porn entirely. There is nothing beneficial for anyone who is involved with the gay porn industry, whether a gay porn star or someone who watches gay porn – supporting the industry. It is only hurting gay monogamous relationships and reinforcing the stereotype associated with gay men. Personally, I try to live my life in purity. Sex is an important issue for me and I want to wait until marriage until I give my body to another man, my husband. I do not want to see other men’s sexual encounters on the internet. Sex is an intimate and private activity between two people. When it is exploited and exposed, it becomes dirty and vile. Sex is a beautiful thing that God created. It is the deepest bond and the deepest portrayal of love one person could show to another. It further shows the coming together of two people in marriage. Two becoming one and creating something wonderful.
My heart goes out to those men who are involved in the gay porn industry. Being told what to do and with whom, no strings attached, not being loved but just being used. I wish them the best for their lives and if they want to get out of that industry, that they would be able to and to be able to start a new life. They are children of God just like I am. They should be seen as more valuable than just a piece of meat on a screen that other men lust after.
The gay porn industry would cease to exist if there was no market for it. It is the same with straight porn. It is up to the consumer to make the choice to stop funding this industry.
I know there will be people who do not agree with me on this topic and I am okay with that. My goal is to never change someone’s beliefs. We all have our own beliefs and I respect everyone else’s. I write this so that people will be encouraged to think about what is really going on in our world.
If there is something that I am not seeing about this topic or if there is another differing opinion on this topic, feel free to tell me in the comments. I would love to hear other people’s opinions on this topic, even if they do not agree with mine. Thanks!
I hope all my readers have a wonderful week ahead!
My dog Gracie usually lays on my bed as I am on my laptop. I had gotten home from work and was unwinding before I went to bed. She took the opportunity to lay at the end of my bed and was hopeful that maybe she would be able to stay for the night. Well, she got her chance. I called her and she came up and laid her head on the pillows right next me. It was a cute movement. I turned off the light and petted her in the dark. For the first time, I thought about what it would truly be like to have another man in my bed. To know that someone else is there; another heart beat. To have companionship and for it to be shown in something as simple as sleeping in the same bed together. This is something I want for my life. I am glad I had this experience as it made me really grasp the concept of what it might be like in a married relationship with another man. It was too bad though that I woke multiple times that night as Gracie takes up as much room on the bed as she can. I was nearly falling off. I will just have to remember to only let her sleep in my bed when getting sleep is not as important for the next day.
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On Sunday, my dad asked me to give him what my biblical (according to the Bible) views were when it comes to my pro-gay stance on sexuality. Honestly, I do not know what his motives are for doing this. If he is honestly interested in knowing what I believe about my sexuality or is he just going to use it to show me that everything I believe is wrong like he has done in the past. It will take much work as I will create a document with all the verses on “homosexuality” and others that relate to it, including my thoughts on each. It will be long and take much of my time but at the end of the day I am doing this for me. I need to truly know what I believe but more importantly why. This will give me the opportunity.
One question that I have been pondering is “Why is my dad fighting me about my sexuality?” “What is the benefits, what does he gain in doing all of this?” Honestly, I am real and honest with him because I fight for our family to remain whole and unified. It would be wonderful if I could come back to my parent’s home for the holidays and see all of my siblings. We would be able to have a meal together and my husband would be there with me enjoying the fun and fellowship as well. No awkwardness would occur. We would just be one big loving family. I believe that God can do anything but it looks like my parents will never accept me. I will not go back for holidays because I do not see it fair to my husband or see them after I move out. There is always a spark of hope that they will accept me but it only a spark. There is always hope in God. There is always hope that one day things will be better than they are now. I do not believe that God wants people to separate from one another. He wants people to love and be united together but people can be stubborn. Sometimes the only option is separation.
A friend and fellow blogger helped me find this beautiful song. It just pulls at my heartstrings and is truly what I would say to my parents. Scott Alan actually wrote this song for when he came out to his mother. It hits hard as well in the fact that my parents will never “give me their blessing.” At the end of the day, I accept their wishes but I will choose joy over torment. Enjoy!
I was almost late for work today as my dad and I sat down for lunch and he brought up the topic of my sexuality because of an episode of Our America that I asked both of my parents to watch and give their opinions. I had found it because of the newer episode being advertised with an interview of Alan Chambers (Exodus International) having a more pro-gay stance than he used to, moving away from reparative therapy.
It was productive in the fact that he is realizing that there is a war between Christians and the gay community. There were also times that I was personally not impressed with my responses. He asked me if I felt pressure from him to marry a woman and I responded with yes and that is what most parents want for their children. My dad responded with I just want what is best for you, whether or not you are married. My side fell flat on that note. I do think my point was valid but it came out wrong.
He disagreed with me on the Bible being a book of morals and a history book. I thought this was a point all Christians could relate with but I guess not.
The big comment came when I again described Jay Michaelson’s view of Genesis 1-2. In saying that the first problem that God saw as bad was that man was alone so God gave him all the animals He had created to name them and find a suitable match but none was found. My dad comments with “Why don’t you get a dog? You can have Gracie.” (Gracie is a dog that we currently have that has attached to me.) I was offended by this. Getting a dog to help me stay single as a gay man yet have companionship. A dog is not the same as a person, let alone a friend or another man.
We also talked about him calling my sexuality a “struggle”. I told him that I see it as a gift and I honestly do. God made me gay for a reason and purpose and I do not regret being gay. Ultimately, like every other talk we had, he left me with no hope. Nothing will ever get better. The whole “Since you are gay, your life is just going to be miserable. Sorry” type of attitude. Jesus never left people without hope for the future so why does my dad see that as the only option?
To say the least, he does not get it. (During our talk, he still used “that lifestyle”). If he brings up my sexuality again, I will talk about it but I am done hitting a wall. What I was interested in when I sent them the episode was my mom’s opinion on the topic. My dad and I beat a dead horse when it comes to talking about my sexuality but my mom and I have not talked much at all though we are pretty close. I plan on asking her tomorrow so hopefully I can get her take on it.
I honestly wonder how he would respond if I asked what he would do if I married another man. There is definitely a curiosity in me but I will not risk asking that question.
Where I am at right now, I do not feel I need a boyfriend. Sure, I would like to be a relationship to love and be loved but God is working on me to better myself right now and the right man will come along in time. Being in a relationship used to be a big deal for me but now I am focused on bettering myself and my organization for gay men and that is what is exciting, what makes me get up in the morning. I still have a crush on someone and we are still getting to know each other but I am not banking on a relationship. I have joy where I am at on the road to where I am going.
One thing that I like to do is I like to hear about the experiences of the lives of the people around me. (This post has come out of hearing about other people’s lives.) It helps me better understand the human condition and prepares me to one day head an organization that reaches out and helps others. It seems the norm that people in the United States go out to party and drink on the weekends. It seems to be used as a way of coping with life. As I thought about it more, it just seems to me like people are running away from their problems, at least for a little while, trying to escape. Is there a better way or are we settling for something less than by just letting go on the weekends? To me it does not make sense. Why are we running from our reality when we can face it head on and make a difference? Why are we compromising for the world we see around us? Is the partying really doing any good for people? Could that money spent on partying be used to help that person better or even help someone else? I believe it can. I do not judge or condemn in this post but just give my readers something to think about. For I know I am not perfect and will never be perfect so I have no room to tell anyone what to do.
The United States is one of the richest countries in the world. Though we are currently in a recession economically and our national debt has soared to $15 Trillion, our wealth is still higher than many other countries all over the world. Much of that debt China owns but it is also from debt that we as Americans have created. Currently, I am paying off a state and private loan for my one and a half years that I attended college. It is so important to pay back our debts. When we do not, they become bondage to us and we become their slave. A way that we can help others is by paying off the debts that we have within the United States.
I have heard this before but what if a person did not go to on their daily Starbucks run everyday but maybe just three or four times a week. That would be about saving $12 a week, $48 a month. What if that was put towards helping others in the United States or another country in the world. I have nothing against Starbucks and support them because of their stance on gay rights. I do think though that one person’s lack of $48 a month will cause Starbucks to close. All of the other days a person could drink water. That person would be healthier as they are drinking more water, not taking in as much caffeine and sugar, and also making a difference in the lives of others by their donation. This person is not loosing anything but gaining so much: a healthier life and a sense of happiness and doing good for others. To help others is always such a rewarding experience and always makes a person feel good.
At the beginning of the year, I gave to different organizations that are on my heart. The key to giving is not how much a person gives but that a person does give. Never think that what a person gives is insignificant. Just because a person may think it is insignificant, the kid who the person fed is truly grateful for that person’s donation because they would not have had a meal that day without it. We truly can do mighty things if we just believe.
I would also recommend giving to a cause that is dear to your heart. Where a person’s money is, so is their attention. We want to know that we are getting the best for our money because we work hard to make it. Find out what is going on periodically within the organization that you have chosen to give to. Be able to see all of the good that they are doing with the donation that you gave and others have given.
For so long when things got hard or situations became too difficult, I would just give up. My life has never been a cake walk but neither is anyone else’s. My life has always involved God but it has not been until recently that I am learning to trust Him completely.
One message that Joyce Meyer has taught was on Moses. He lives with the Egyptians because Pharaoh’s daughter takes him in after Pharaoh decrees all of the Israelite baby boys be killed. When Moses kills an Egyptian for the mistreatment of his people and someone comforts him about it, he runs away from Egypt and lives there for 40 years. The point that she makes is we may not want to go through the trials and heartache that God wants us to go through but no matter what we will go through them no matter how long we wait. It took Moses 40 years to accept God’s call on his life: to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Personally, I would not want to waste 40 years of my life running away from God. It is simply choosing to be miserable over having the fulfilled life that God wants me to have. In middle school and high school, I did not have a strong enough faith and relationship with God to go through the trials and hardship that God wants me to endure but now I choose to go through because in going through means to overcome. I cannot have a victory if I do not go through the hard times. When Moses did accept the call on his life, he still made excuses to God and lacked faith that God would give him the strength to do what He was asking of Moses. When God calls us to do something, he gives us the necessary resources to do it. We may feel like we do not have the skills to do it but God makes up for our shortcomings. We also learn that it is not always the qualified people that God uses, it is the ones that are willing and able to do the work of God. Though I do not feel qualified to start an organization that reaches out to gay people and gay men specifically but God has given me certain gifts that will help me succeed in His plan for my life. The need for helping my fellow gay brothers is also so great that it is impossible for me to just ignore it.
This time in my life right now is a time of pressing and pain. God is putting me into the fire to clean away the impurities and make me further into who He wants me to be. There are many pressing things that are in focus in my life: moving out my parents house, the organization that God wants me to start, my current health situation, a potential relationship. All of these collide in my life. God is testing me to see how well I will do with all of these things and He wants me to trust Him. My personality has always been that I wanted to know everything that is going on and have everything figured out but that is not always the best for me. God wants us to just trust Him and He will work out all of the details but we just need to be willing to take actions when He tells us to. I always felt like I needed to have my life together, like I needed to know what I was going to do with my future and have everything so organized. As a Christian, it is okay to say that we do not know what is next for us in our lives but we do not need to worry about it because God has it covered. He cares for us and protects us. God truly wants what is best for us. His ways are greater than our ways. Sometimes we think we want one thing when it simply is not what we need in our lives at that period in time or at all. God knows what we need more than we do.
Recently, I have gotten sad from coming home from work and finding that I had not received a response for the guy that I am interested in. At this point, I do not care about the relationship, I just want to get to know him better. In praying about and for him last night, I broke down crying and had a really honest moment with God. I have given this relationship into God’s hands and He will do what He wants with it. God has not told me whether or not I will ever be in a relationship with him but I just trust that God knows best and maybe he is the right person for me but maybe he is not. It is very hard for me to do this but many times before I have acted on what I have wanted to do in a (potential) relationship only to have it end badly. No matter what, God put this man into my life for a reason. It may take me a while to figure it out but that time will comes when it comes. Maybe it is for a relationship or maybe it is to help me with my organization. I can only guess. Only time will tell. I will continue to pray that God’s will be done in this area of my life. I have a strong connection to his man and even tear up as I type this part of the message. Maybe I am too emotional too quick. I even picked a song that is my love song to him. Hopefully this all ends well but if I have to give up on this crush, to free the beautiful bird from its cage, I will do it for I want the best for him. If it is not with me, may it be with someone else that is better for him than me. There will always be people better than me. Will I be heartbroken? Will I not like it? Yes but there is a higher purpose. Everything is not about me. I would rather be temporarily sad than for him to be sad for most of his life simply because I wanted what I wanted. I know I should not be sad about not hearing back from him. It is not what God would want for me. I need to continue to better myself and maybe in that God will let him come around.
No matter how hard it is to trust God ultimately it is in our best interest to do so. It may be hard as it is for me currently but at the end of this time in my life, I will be glad that I endured as I will have overcome these trails and obstacles in my life.
God is working in my life as I am a gay Christian just as He would a straight man or woman. God loves gay people no matter what other Christians may say. There is hope for the future. God is working in lives like mine to reach out and be the hands and feet to the gay community. Never think you are less than because you are gay. That is not true. You are uniquely made by God with a purpose and call just like straight people. All we can do is continue to love wholeheartedly. Love our boyfriends and husbands wholeheartedly like Jesus would.
The New Normal is Ryan Murphy’s newest television series and will start airing Tuesday September 11th, 2012 on NBC. This is a show based around the topics of love and family as the main story line captures the lives of two gay men who want to have a child and what it is like to have a baby through a surrogate.
I want to applaud Ryan Murphy for showing gay men for who they are on television, gay men just going around living their daily lives. He has pushed the envelope with Glee and now with this new project. It seems like one of his goals in all his shows is to write characters that are relatable to the audience watching. I am really looking forward to this show and what transpires because of it.
Though some people would say that this show will make people gay, which is false, the title is definitely a bold statement to say the least. It is fighting for marriage equality. It is heating up the debate on gay marriage in saying that this is the future of family. I thank Ryan Murphy for taking a bold move in the title and not compromising because of other people’s beliefs but I would have picked something less controversial to title the show. Going back to the beginning of this paragraph, television shows about gay people do not make other people gay as their sexual orientation cannot change. If anything, it helps someone better understand that they could be or are gay. No television show with gay themes promotes gay sex for people just to try. Television is a medium that portrays pieces of reality about everyday life. If someone decides they want to have gay sex after watching a gay themed television show, that is on them but the television show did not say that and will not say that. I wish I had television shows when I was growing up that addressed same-sex relationships because it would have helped me better understand myself. When I knew I was different but did not have a label for it, it hurt all the more. I am glad we have television shows like this to help people struggling with their sexuality and to educate others who might not understand gay men or the need they feel to start a family.
One Million Moms, the end of July, stated and they do not like this show and will do their best to cut sponsors for The New Normal so that less advertisement can be done causing ratings to plummet and the show to be cancelled. I write this post to encourage my fellow readers to support this show. It has more on the line than any other shows premiering this fall because One Million Moms wants to cancel it. Am I afraid of One Million Moms? I am not but as gay men who would like the right to marry and have a family, we should support this show and Ryan Murphy; who is a gay man himself. It could easily be said that One Million Moms is trying to take away Ryan Murphy’s freedom of speech much like many people in support of traditional marriage said about Chick-Fil-A.
Something that I have noticed within myself is my sexuality is too much in my head and not enough in my experiences and heartfelt emotion. I am trapped in my thoughts of being with another man, whether they are based in reality or not. One of my dreams has always been to wake up and look at my husband sleeping next to me in bed and feel undeserving of him even being with me and in turn felling so glad that he is right there next to me; now and forever. I think that is a healthy way of looking at a relationship. When a person in a relationship loses how special they see the other person, they are willing to move on whether in breaking up or in cheating. I never want to lose the specialness and uniqueness that I see in my husband. I never want to think that I will ever have him “figured out” and that I give him room to surprise me with the many facets of who he is.
In May, I did have a 9-day relationship with a guy. Overall, I enjoyed it though it was more of a learning experience than anything else. We meet online and it so happened that we only lived an hour away from each other. He, also being a gay Christian, was wrestling with sexuality as well, not knowing what to do with it. It was both of our first real relationships. We would Skype each other and call each other. There was one time that I was on Skype with him in my sister’s room. (I do not really have a room in my parent’s house where I live. It is just a bed in the family room. The family computer is also in there so there is some privacy but not as much as if I were to have my own room. When I moved away to college, my two brothers moved everything that was mine out of our room and put it in the garage so they could do what they wanted in the room. I did not know any of this happened until I came home from college a couple weeks into the semester.) He was talking about how he had seen one of his male friends naked and that it was not a big deal. My sister had walked in at that moment to get her iPod and over heard that. I had to downplay it to my parents and really it was not a big deal. One of the reason why I will not be in a relationship with another man and live in my parent’s house is the stress of them finding out, covering up all of the tracks. The other is just that I want to respect their wishes though their beliefs are not my beliefs.
We broke up because of his wrestling with his sexuality. He did not want the acceptance of his family to go away and him to be looked down upon because he was with another man. It was hard because he had not told me he had had doubts about us but waited to say that for when we broke up. (This was the first time someone has ever broken up with me.) Being the person I am, I am just very honest and real with people, and we promised to be real with one another. We promised to always be friends. I helped him in talking with his parents about his sexuality and his parents were accepting of him being with another man and even bringing him to meet them. I was happy for him as I do not really have much hope that my parents will ever accept me but I accept that fact and move on in life while still keeping conversation about my sexuality open and in their minds. After we broke up, we both still had feelings for each other and I asked him to come visit me. It was hard as I was always looking for people I knew who would see me. I had to lie to my parents to even meet him. He was really sweet though about it and made me feel loved. We were in the town square. There is a gazebo and some grass, trees, and benches. We sat down on a bench to talk and we were still deciding if we were going to get back together. He felt God was leading him to move to California so our relationship would be long distance. Could our relationship hold up? In talking, I put out my hand to him so we could hold hands. At that point, I did not care who saw or anything. I was tired of pretending. When we held hands, I just embraced the experience. It was awkward as I had never held another man’s hand and my hand was sweating after we held hands for a while. It was a couple of minutes. While we were holding hands, I got hard for him instantly. He told me later that he did as well. There was chemistry there. That was something I have never experienced. Our relationship had never been sexual and my goal had always been to live my life with another man, sex was just an added bonus for me. I knew in holding hands, I wanted to continue to pursue a man to share my life with. We never kissed and I am glad because I would have regretted it now.
He got out his bracelet while we were on the bench together. We even bought bracelets to give each other as a constant reminder of our relationship if we were to get back together. I had even written him a love letter that I was going to give him but it did not seem right to give it to him with the circumstances we were in. (I still have that letter too but cannot get myself to throw it away.) Since he would be moving to California, he decided that we not get back together. I realize that that was the best and felt similar though I still did want to be with him. I still have my bracelet in the packaging. Maybe as a reminder of what we were and what we had but I do not know what to do with it so I just hold onto it. At the end of our time together, we hugged and that is always something that I will enjoy. I do not get many good hugs so when I do, I cherish them. I honestly did not want him to have to leave but I wanted to get back home so my parents would not be suspicious.
One thing I learned from this relationships was that we had a lot of similarities, so much so that our differences became very magnified. After all of this happened, I was wrestling with my faith and was fed up with people who called themselves Christians yet did not walk to walk. His responses to me showed me that I would be compromising myself if I was ever with him again and from that point I let him go. Having been abused as a child, what he said to me did not sit well with me.
We’re still friend now though and we talk occasionally if I contact him but I do not give him the label “my ex-boyfriend”. I was in a relationship with him for nine days, too short to truly get to know each other. He is not deserving of that label and I do not look at him negatively as that word mostly has a negative connotation connected to it. He moved to California and is now in a relationship with another man. He is happy and I am glad. For the longest time, I felt used by him and used I was. I see the good I have done in his life by him knowing me and that makes me glad. He probably would not have talked to his parents and they would have still not accepted him if I had not told him to think about doing it. He has an accepting family and a wonderful boyfriend and it is just me back to being me again. I was drained from that relationship but it was a good learning experience of me, the highs and the lows. Hopefully one day I will get the happy ending.
Sometimes I wonder if I choose men that are just out of my league. I feel this way about my crush. I really like him but does he like me back? He seems too good for me, too good to be true almost. There needs to be more done in me figuring out what type of men find me attractive; what type of men I can catch. I doubt in my mind if my crush and I would do well together in a relationship and doubt settles in saying that I do not even have a chance. That may be true but it may not be true. I will not compromise myself for the man I am with. I will marry a man who I am honestly attracted to both physically and emotionally. At the same time, as gay men we attract people that are similar to us physically speaking. I see similarities in me and my crush in how we look and how we dress. More times than not that is the case.
Ultimately, I just need to get out my head and start living.
~ Before starting this post, I have thought about posting this all day. The person who this is written to could stumble upon it and read it. I take that risk as my blog has always been real, honest, and I just need to tell someone else about the gay part of my life. I will not say who my crush is but to the people reading this, if you feel that I wrote about you and you are simply not interested in me, let me know. Tell me and let me down gently. I do not want to waste both of our times on something that just will not happen. Thanks! ~
I meet him through blogging and when I saw pictures of him, he was just a cute guy but as I looked more and read more of his blog, I began to grow feelings for him. We have not really talked much at all but I really enjoyed reading his blog posts and getting to know him through those. I wish I could get to know him through him and not through glimpses of him through what he has left on the internet. A relationship is very premature at this point. Friends would be stretching it though I would do anything for him as a friend.
From the beginning, I have given me and my crush into God’s hands. I pray about it and ask for His plan to do be done. I have contacted my crush but he does not get back to me quickly as he’s a busy guy. I completely understand that though it is frustrating trying to get to know him better. If he is not the one God wants me to be with then I should not be with him. God knows best. I do believe that God made us meet for a reason, though I have not found the reason for us yet. It will come along when it is ready to.
Previously, I have commented that I am a hopeless romantic. I have crafted two scenes in my mind of us together. He is an adventure seeker and likes to travel. I picture the two of us at the top of a snow covered mountain. We can see the valley down below with trees and a winding river bed. In the background are other mountains all covered with snow. I am reminded of how great and good God is and how wonderful a person I have in my life. We embrace; me holding him and him holding me. I look deeply in his beautiful blue eyes and for the first time in my life I feel 100% supported and loved. We kiss and our love runs through our bodies. I have not had the opportunity to travel much in my life so far but if I had a man who trusted and believed in me, I could do about anything. I would love to see God’s creation with the man of my dreams.
The other scene is our wedding. I know that is a little fast but it is only a dream, a thought. I picture us singing “For Good” from the musical Wicked. He would be Glinda and I would be Elphaba. I would take his hand on the lyrics “So much of me is made of what I learned from you, you’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart.” Though this is a goodbye song, it is our goodbye to friends and hello to oneness in marriage. Never before have I ever though about marrying another man. I never found it possible. The original song in the musical is sung by two women but here is a version with two men singing to give my readers an idea of what it would be like. I teared up as I thought about us singing it together.
No matter if I say this with my current crush or not, I feel like I should sing this song at my wedding with my husband-to-be.
(I turn my audience to my crush specifically):
I want you to know that I do not care how feminine you act. That does not matter to me. You are a handsome man and what matters to me is your heart and your personality.
I know we are in different stages of life but once I move out soon, I will be in the same one. Please take a chance on me. May you see my heart. Though I may have many things that I need to improve in, I will do those for you and with your help. I am not perfect and I do not expect you to be either. A relationship is not paradise but I am willing to work to have the best relationship we could ever have. I do want to love you like you are perfect in every way.
Please wish me the best as things progress. It’s in God’s hands and it is best there. If anything significant happens, I might post about it. This post may be already too risky enough.
To inform all of my readers who are interested in the Book Discussion, I have decided that the discussion itself for each book will start the 1st of the next month so that it will give the people participating at least a month to finish the book. So for Finding the Boyfriend Within, our discussion will not start until September 1st. This post is to decide the next book for September of our Book Discussion. I am doing this early for anyone who wants to get ahead and also to make sure that everyone can have the book at the beginning of September to start reading. I have also started a Book Discussion category on my blog that will mark all of the posts on our book discussion from now on.
Here are my three suggestion for September’s Book Discussion Book:
The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing up Gay in A Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs
The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to their Younger Selves by Sarah Moon
The God Box by Alex Sanchez
With Finding the Boyfriend Within being such a mentally deep book, I wanted something lighter for September. The Velvet Rage was recently re-released so there are two editions just so everyone knows. The Letter Q is about stories from people who are LGBT. The God Box is a fictional story about two teenage boys who fall in love as they wrestle with their faith and sexuality.
Here’s each of their covers as well:
If anyone has suggestions, feel free to make them known to everyone.
If anyone else is interested in the Book Discussion besides Rick or Michael, please let me know via the comments or email.
This saying has been used for Christian women when it comes to the way that they dress. I want to turn it around to the gay (Christian) men as well. Many of the struggles that gay men go through are similar to those of straight women because of our similar brain function. I was watching a video made by the underwear company I no longer support. Gay men in wet underwear as they gyrate around in this car wash scene. It only enforces the gay stereotype. This company continues to grow and gain because of these sexual commercials. We all know that using sex in advertising makes products sell. Sex is something that everyone wants. It is relatable. This advertisement promotes that the underwear and sex will be fulfilling. Eventually it will leave a person even more broken and hurt.
I want to represent a different standard. When we as gay men show ourselves as something other than modest, we are cutting ourselves short. We are more than just our bodies. We are more than just sex. We are more than just a one night stand. We are more than something to be used and thrown away. There are consequences for our sexual acts. HIV and AIDS is just one example. It is really worth the risk to have sex with multiple men just for the pleasure that is felt while in the moment? Do you want to truly be loved or do you want to be the release of someone’s extreme sexual desires? The first is selfless; the second is selfish. I mentioned in a previous post that we see this in gay porn. The mentality of “I am going to top this guy as hard as I can because it will make me feel good and I do not really care about the other guy I am having sex with. I just want him for his body. I do not care who he is as a person.” This only hurts people more.
Do not give into this lie. Let your personality radiate out, radiating the beautiful person you are. What does the way you dress say about how you view yourself and how you view the world?
I was surprised when my dad opened up to me last night and wanted to talk. We talked for about an hour and a half after I got off work. In wanting to send my parents another email recently, I felt that God was working in bringing my dad to me to talk. At first it was to talk about how I need to communicate more and the feelings each of us feels towards each other. Then the conversation diverged to my sexuality. It could have been much better but, at the end of the day, it was good that we had it so that I further understand where he is coming from. It shocked me where he is at with my sexuality. I already knew he does not think I am gay, I am just deceived as he would put it. There is no gay sexual orientation. He used the term “gay agenda” and I was shocked. For him to not know any vocabulary to talk about the “gay agenda”, it just shows me how far right his views are. All hope of my parents ever accepting me for who I am is shattered. To understand that he would definitely be one who would buy a chicken sandwich on Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day really hurts.
Later in the discussion, I just felt that he just had the mentality that he was right and I was wrong. He accused me of reading all my information from “liberal” sources. Is Jay Michaelson a liberal source? I would disagree. Michaelson looks at the Bible from the original texts and gives his opinion. There are republicans who support gay marriage. I come into this topic with an open mind as I come into every issue and weigh the facts. Never will I apologize for this approach. I have read the “Christian psychology” books and Exodus International books and I do not agree with them though they gave me a good starting point on my journey.
I think Alex’s reply to “Setting the Spark – Part I” hits the nail on the head. Since we both have different views, neither of us can believe in the other’s viewpoint. The topic hits harder because it deals with who I am as a person. No agreement on who I am can be made so there is no foundation to our relationship at all. All it leaves is for me to be a person I am not, to hide my sexuality from my dad. There is no room for building a healthy relationship when there can be no truth to build a foundation for the relationship. God has called me to still love my dad but I think this will be one of the biggest challenges of my life as nothing about our relationship is grounded in truth or reality. It will be like playing the role of a straight Josh. I have done theatre in high school and college. No matter what, I will always be true about my story and experiences and no choice that I make on this character that I portray to my parents should hinder from showing them that I love them as Jesus would/does.
My mom and I have a very different relationship than my dad solely because we do not talk about my sexuality. Ultimately, it would hurt her more not being in her life. I really need to talk to her more about who I am and get her take. I know she does not approve but maybe she actually would not deny that I am gay. I am just trying to find hope in a hard situation.
A big point, when it comes to my relationship with my dad, is that his view of there not being a gay sexual orientation stems from interpretation of the Bible, not a specific verse where the Bible states that point directly. Interpretations are chosen by the people who believe them. My dad believes that since God condemns homosexuality that people can change and, since this is true, there is no gay sexual orientation. In my mind, it is one thing to disagree with me because of a specific verse in the Bible but to hinder a relationship because of an interpretation of the Bible. I could have an honest, truthful relationship with my dad if he accepted that I have a gay sexual orientation but did not believe that it was right for a man to be with another man.
It was interesting enough to know that he does not think Christians who act out a gay sexuality will go to Hell. He believes that they will grieve the Holy Spirit and that no one can loose their salvation. From a traditional view, I find that 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NLT) says that gay people will go to Hell for their sin of homosexuality. “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” As a gay man, I have seen this verse thrown at gay people to condemn them to Hell. What does this verse mean in a traditional viewpoint if it is not condemning gay people to Hell?
Going back to the topic that he first starting talking to me about: communicating with my parents. Our different views hinder communication. I have not told them that I feel like I should start an organization that helps gay men because I know they will disagree with it. Right now I am reading books on how to start one and will probably officially start it after I move out. They will do everything in their power to stop the message of my viewpoint from getting out. They do not know about this blog because they would shut it down as it does not agree with their beliefs and they believe I am deceiving people.My goal is to help people who are gay and to show them that they are loved by God, not to deceive them. In the past, a Facebook status and liking certain pictures have been asked to be taken down and stopped. To their respect and authority I have taken down a status and do not like certain pictures anymore. I see an injustice being done and I want to speak out about it but I am silenced. For this stage of my life, I will be silenced but there will be days in the future where I will not be. I look forward to those days and being honest with the world about my sexuality. I also look forward to comforting others and encouraging them in this hard journey.
At this time, I do not feel I will be completed able to figure out my sexuality in a house full of tension and parents praying for me that only conflict me more. My ultimate goal as a person is to be loved and to be able to have joy in life. I see that with another man. I want to live my life with a man by my side. If my marriage is never legal or I am looked at by the people around me as a second class citizen because of my sexual orientation, I let that weight go and embrace the legacy of loving a husband until I die and loving other gay men in their time(s) of need. Being equal is not as important to me as living a legacy of love.
I wish you all the best in your weekend and week to come. Thank you for reading my blog!
I just wanted to share this to give more people to opportunity to see it. Even if you are not a Glee fan, it is still heartwarming, cute, and definitely worth watching.
Personally, I have always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic. When I did not know I was gay and even when I did, I would do special things for the guy friends in my life that meant a lot to me. Hopefully one day I will have that opportunity to do that with my husband.
One thing I never want to happen in my marriage is to loose the spontaneity in the relationship. I still want to surprise my man and do special things for him even after the newness of love in starting a lifelong commitment with him has waned.
Last night I was pondering sending my parents another email to start another discussion about my sexuality; to set another spark. Recently I have just been feeling depressed and lonely as I long to be in the companionship of another man yet my parents do not understand me and do not accept me being gay or being with another man.
It should never have to be like this for any family or for any gay teen. To use the Bible as a means of further separating the relationship between a father and son is not what God wants to see. It is one thing to not believe that gay relationships are acceptable to God but it is another to deny someone’s sexuality out of ignorance and pride. In saying this I do not put myself above my parents but to make a point. For I am not better than anyone else and I will never know everything or do everything right. How can my father know about my sexuality if he does not put in the time to research it? As the quote says “Knowledge is power.” I have told my dad that his lack of wanting to understand me and my sexuality shows me that he does not love me enough yet he does not research because he does not believe in God accepting gay relationships or people even being gay. He has also told me that I should change my sexual orientation to straight and marry a woman. How is that even done? It is not just going to happen magically. Is not ex-gay ministries the answer to that question? In our discussion, my dad did not even know what ex-gay ministries were because of his lack of research on the topic. Shouldn’t you have facts to back up your argument before you choose a side? Apart from sexuality, a person would look at the facts of an issue and base their beliefs on those facts. My dad has the cart before the horse in trying to use whatever evidence he can to support his conviction. I respect his conviction yet at the same time his conviction has a lot to do with me and it hurts me and causing me much stress. He does not come to the topic with an open mind and look at all the evidence to come to a conclusion. He picks and chooses what other people believe and uses that to support his beliefs. The key is to come into the topic with an open mind and to look at all of the evidence and facts.
This is the path that I have taken. My dad bought himself “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality” by Joseph Nicolosi, which I later read. He also bought me an $80 kit of books for Exodus International that I read the summer before my freshman year of college. Knowing the “Christian psychology” to sexuality and being gay really helped start my journey to reconcile my faith and sexuality. The biggest thing that I dislike and disagree with when it comes to that viewpoint is the blaming of the parents for their child being gay. Do I think that my parents played a role in my sexuality? Yes. I believe that it is a combination of nature and nurture. Studies show that the brain of a gay man fires and functions similarly with a straight woman than with a straight man. That would be part of the nature side of sexuality. I try to put myself in my parent’s shoes. How would I feel if I was a conservative Christian and someone told me that my parenting was the reason that my son is gay. I would not know what to do. I would feel so much guilt and hurt that I did this to my son. In one of the discussions with my parents about my sexuality, my mom broke down crying and said something along the lines of “I’ll never stop loving you the way I know how. You are my son and I have always loved you that way.” My mom was really hurt by this view. I would totally agree that I have a distant father and an overbearing mother but not all gay men do and that is the point. No matter what my parents would have done to raise me, God wanted me to be gay because there was a purpose and a reason behind it. He is going to use it for His glory and to make His name known.
The big thing about this viewpoint is it not only says that there is a problem with the son that is gay, there is a problem with the way the parents have raised their son. I can understand the need for balance when it comes to anyone’s life, a balance of mother to father interaction with a child but this view comes to the conclusion that love can be wrong and I disagree with that. Jesus was the very essence love and through Him love was created through the Trinity. Jesus never sinned. He was the sacrifice for the world’s sin so that mankind could be reconciled back to God. A question that I have had from the beginning of my journey with my sexuality is how is my love for another man wrong? The Bible never says anything about love being wrong but encourages to love one another. I believe this discrepancy, in saying love is wrong, is a lack of human understanding of who God is.
The war on the topic of gay is not just about sexuality. It is also about a deeper understanding of God, his nature, and how He created humans. God himself is genderless and being made in the image of God, I am like God. I would disagree with the NIV’s translation of saying it is a sin to be effeminate. Effeminate is defined by dictionary.com as “(of a man or boy) having traits, tastes, habits, etc.,traditionally considered feminine, as softness or delicacy.” God does not work within our understanding of gender through from this definition God would be effeminate in society’s eyes today. God embodies both the masculine and the feminine. I am going to be bold enough to say that God is most like a gay man, having both masculine and feminine qualities. My mom and dad are very strict on gender roles, as most conservative Christians are. When I was in 5th grade, I would paint my two sister’s hands and feet with nail polish. I was never allowed to paint my own nails because it was “effeminate”. A while ago I saw a YouTube video of Darren Criss (big fan of his) do an acoustic version of a song and as he was performing I saw that his fingernails on his hands where painted. Personally, I do not express myself in that way but it is just the principle of it. I would love to do it once to see what it is like and I should be able to it. I really support Darren Criss for the fact that even though he is a straight guy, who plays a stunning gay man on Glee, he has the confidence to perform and have his nails be different colors. He simply does not care what other people think and I admire that.
We see that God is not tied down my gender expression so why should humans? There are passages of the Bible that talk about the roles of the man and the woman in a relationship and I think those verse should still be lived out. When it comes to gender expression, I do not think it is wrong for a man to dress in drag as a woman. The problem comes in with society. Society determines what is masculine and what is feminine. Society determines who will succeed in it by what qualities they have and do not have. It is changing as more gay men come out and it is more accepted to be gay. There is still more work to do. God is not the one who put rules on gender expression, humans did. What is comes down to is someone sees a drag queen, for instance, and they think about it. It is different than the typical male or female expression we see on a daily basis. There is the opportunity of difference. At the moment, they have the choice to be open-minded and accept that person’s gender expression or to deny their gender expression. In seeing a drag queen and denying their gender expression, maybe the person who sees does not understand why a person would do that or want to do that. That is all it takes to go from being different than someone else to being against a group of people. I think there is fear in the unknown and fear towards a group of people because of a person’s lack of understanding. It is an interesting though that prejudice comes from a place of fear.
This post is getting long and there is still more I could write about so I will have another part to this post coming soon.
Gay Everyday 
